The road you were on yesterday, the road you find yourself on today, and the road you will travel tomorrow are all the “right” road. This has become a mantra that I’ve been sharing with my clients and friends lately. I generally reserve it for those times when someone makes statements like, “I should have done ___ differently,” “If I hadn’t done ___ then ___ wouldn’t have happened,” “I wish I had ___, learned ___, done ___” (You fill in the blanks). It reminds me of a similar phenomenon that happens with teenage girls who want the curly hair that their girlfriend has because their hair is straight, or the blondes who dye their hair brown and the brunettes who dye their hair blonde. It’s also similar to how many people who live in the mountains crave to live near the ocean, and vice-versa.

What do these phenomena have in common? They lack a consciousness or satisfaction of the “Present.” The unspoken and likely unconscious message that we are activating in our external world is, “Whoever I am today, wherever I am today, and whatever I have today is not good enough .” You may be thinking, ‘Well, what’s wrong with wanting more or something different?’ Absolutely nothing! However, if we neglect to experience the NOW, to be conscious of all that we could be grateful and joyful for TODAY, then when exactly will we ever know what it is to be satisfied, rested and peaceful?

Eckhart Tolle, author of “A New Earth-Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose” defines Presence as “…a state of inner spaciousness.” He further explains, “When you are present, you ask: How do I respond to the needs of this situation, of this moment ? In fact, you don’t even need to ask the question. You are still, alert, open to what is. You bring a new dimension into the situation: space.”

Being present and recognizing our inner “space” are powerful tools in feeling fulfilled and content every day, not just on the days when we’ve achieved a goal, closed a sale, or made a million.

So why is it that most of us struggle to remain in the here and now and instead spend an inordinate amount of mental energy in yesterday and tomorrow? My personal theory is that “the road” of NOW isn’t always as sexy, exciting, dramatic or emotion-filled as the roads of the past and future. Being the ego-driven creatures that we all are (or most of us, minus Buddha, Jesus, Lao Tzu…you get the picture), we tend to crave thoughts, stories, and memories that are all about ME and I. We can spend surprisingly long periods of time berating ourselves over what we didn’t do in the past or visualizing our wants and desires of the future.

But what happens when you focus on exactly what is in front of you now? What happens when you are present and fully give your attention to an employee, a customer, or your child? What happens when you immerse yourself in the issues, tasks and decisions of today? What happens to I and ME? Isn’t it true that I and ME begin to fade into the background? Is your inner monologue not hushed? Your emotions less all-consuming? Your days more productive and satisfying?

When we are not focused on the present, our inner dialogue takes over and the stories that consume us, those from the past and of the future, elicit feelings that often are negative and obsessive and can debilitate our ability to get things done. We become so obsessed with the stories of ME and I, that we associate with things that we cannot change or haven’t even happened, thus leaving us with a feeling of being stuck.

Getting un-stuck is a matter of consciousness and faith. To become more conscious of the moment, and to have more faith in the fact that all roads you have ever traveled and will travel will be the right ones, takes practice. Just by being aware that your inner space is being filled with ME and I stories is the first powerful step in being able to refocus on the here and now. The more you can catch your inner dialogue and become an observer of the story instead of the lead role, the more you will be able to harness the power of directing your focus on the tasks at hand, and living more happily and productively in the present.

Traveling the road of the “here and now” is not an easy task, but for those of us brave enough…well…I think Robert Frost said it best when he wrote:

Two roads diverged in the woods, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

-Coach Victoria