Huh? Yes, you heard me right. I said, “Fail!” You might be wondering, ‘Why would a Coach demand that I do the very thing that I’ve been focused on avoiding all of my life?’ The reason is steeped in the following three words, “focused on avoiding.” The fact is that the vast majority of the population spends so much time focusing on what they are desperate to avoid that they inadvertently become paralyzed, taking little to no real risks. It is in this stagnation that the spores of negativity grow and draw to it all of our not-wantings.

So, when I tell you to “Fail!” what I mean is, be aware that life and living is about growth and growing. If we don’t miss the target every now and again, then we aren’t firing nearly enough. Mistakes, faux paus, errors, failures, losses, misses, defeats…are simply moments in time that we all endure and in so doing, by the nature of the human spirit, we will rise, we will rise, we will rise.

This idea is best articulated in a quote more than 4,000 years old by Confucius who said, “Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”

When you ask a person to describe the character of a successful person, words such as, courageous, risk-taker, indomitable, determined, brave and persistent are commonly chosen. If we examine these characteristics closely, in order to be any one of these, there is an assumption that you have overcome obstacles, difficulties, set-backs, and sometimes, even pain. Therefore, failure is a key ingredient to becoming enormously successful.

Thomas Edison, whose character was painted by many of the before-mentioned adjectives, happened to be both the greatest failure and the greatest success in the history of invention. No other person failed at more experiments than he, nor was granted more patents. He summarized this phenomenon in the following humorous and insightful quote, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

What if you were told by an ancient oracle that you would become the wealthiest, healthiest and happiest person in the world, but you first had to fail at least 10,000 times before achieving these states? Would you allow failure into your life, then? Might you be eager to attempt all that you fear the most in order to live the life that you envision?

What if I told you that the ancient oracle actually lives within you, not outside of you, and that the mantras you repeat in your mind every day wield enough power to make whatever it is that you are focusing on an absolute reality? The following are words from incredibly inspiring people who realized that failure is not to be feared but simply accepted as a stepping stone to greatness:

“Before success comes in any man’s life, he is sure to meet with much
temporary defeat and, perhaps, some failure. When defeat overtakes a
man, the easiest and most logical thing to do is quit. And that is exactly what the majority of men and women do.” – Napoleon Hill

“Everyone faces difficulties every step of the way. The difference
between high achievers and low achievers is simply that high achievers utilize adversity and struggles for growth, while low achievers allow difficulties and adversity to overwhelm them and leave them discouraged and dejected.” –Brian Tracy

“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.”
-Robert F. Kennedy

What do you feel that you have failed at in your life up to this point? Looking back on the situation now, can you discover at least one success that was born from what seemed like a loss at the time? What characteristics did you display? What did you learn and how did you grow from this experience? Take about 15 minutes to really think about this. Meditate on how you felt at the time in the face of what you believed was a failure and then move your thoughts to how you feel right now. Can you see that this was simply a stepping stone in your life?

So what is different about what you might be afraid to fail at now? Likely, you will discover that absolutely nothing about the fear itself has changed. You hit the same old play button with the same old recording…I’m not smart enough…People don’t care what I have to say…I’m not that good. Sound familiar? Feel the fear and do it anyway, as Jack Canfield would say. What do you have to lose? More importantly, what do you have to gain?

Take out your journal and write down everything that you have been fearing to fail at. Your list might look something like this:

I am fearful of failing at speaking in front of a large audience.
I am fearful of failing at losing 20lbs.
I am fearful of not appearing knowledgeable in my industry.

Once you feel that you have released every fear from your mind, go back and strike out the fear and write one small step that you could be excited about taking that would bring you closer to being beyond the fear. For example:

I am fearful of failing at speaking in front of a large audience. I am excited to take my presentation home and invite two friends over to be my audience.

I am fearful of failing at losing 20lbs. I am excited to cut out fast foods from my diet for a period of one month, starting this month.

I am fearful of not appearing knowledgeable in my industry. I am excited to read something about my industry for 15min every day.

Commit each month to achieving these small steps and then journaling to discover what each stepping stone on your path looks like for the next month and the next. Before you know it, this accumulation of small victories will bring you to your ultimate goal. Remember, failures will be part of the journey, but your oracle can remind you along the way, “If you’re not failing, you’re also not succeeding.”